i'm a drug addict. 'good' drugs, like zyprexa and effexor. sometimes they help. sometimes i get so scared and so alienated that nothing works except taking to my bed and not leaving the apartment for weeks... this is a problem, because i'm supposed to be in school right now. right now this minute i'm missing not just one, but two exams. i kind of missed a lot of classes. my mom was in the hospital getting her knee replaced. instead of a 3 day stay, she was there for two weeks. uncontrolled diabetis. caused all kinds of problems. and i'll be next, my mom keeps reminding me: i'm overweight too, and this runs in families. our family.

mom is supposed to get out of the hospital today. my sister called her at 3pm. hadn't shown up by 6:30. she's like that. she's a psychiatrist. she says all psychiatrists have something *really* weird about them. she sure does.

so anyway... i'm supposed to be in class taking two exams, but i had to go out of town and missed some classes... i've been back here calling her two or three times a day during her whole hospital stay. i don't have a job, so i spend time on the computer and reading. but not reading my school books.